Wintering

© aNadventures

“Winter is asking me to be more careful with my energies and to rest a while until spring.”

~ Katherine May in Wintering – The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times

I’m sitting at a table outside, sipping coffee. Somewhere near Mierendorffplatz… I wonder if it’s spelled with one “F” or two. It’s actually not that relevant to the story. Oh wait, it’s two “F”! I just saw a woman walk by with a tote bag that said “Mierendorffplatz”…

Anyway… I happened to sit at this very same spot sometime in November. It was a Wednesday around noon. The weather was quite similar to today’s: grey and cloudy and yet somehow mild. Almost five months have passed since that day. This gets me thinking about everything that has changed since then. Has anything changed, though? Progress has felt small and slow and insignificant but it has happened. It depends on what I focus on. 

When I compare my life today with my life on that Wednesday in November 2022, I notice progress in the following ways: 

• I declared Breathing & Existing to be my motto for the winter and lived up to it. 
• I connected with my seven-year-old self and took good care of her.  
• I ended up learning so much about myself and some old wounds through an unexpected encounter. 
• I experienced butterflies followed by tears and was comforted by dear friends. 
• I finally welcomed that yellow armchair into my life and a new era of comfortable reading has started. 
• I’ve continued to declutter my flat, one item at a time. 
• I’ve set some boundaries, both within my family as well as within friendships. 
• I said goodbye to the urge to have to “fix” things immediately. 
• I decided to create my Alltagtraumleben, an everyday life that does by itself feel very rewarding to me. 
• I started doing some freelance work in the field of coaching and writing. 
• I spent a month in Mexico and fueled up on sunshine, love and lightness.
• I accomplished another mission. 
• I experienced what it feels like to have an older sister.
• I made friends with the thought that it’s ok for me to let people down at times.
• I created my collage (a kind of vision board) for the year 2023. 
• I spent quality time with my family and especially enjoyed seeing Lizzo live in concert with my brother and my sister-in-law. 
• I recognized that it’s ok for my life to be different from other people’s lives. 
• I’m getting better at communicating my needs. 
• I finished Wintering by Katherine May. That was the book I was reading last time I sat here. 

[…]

See? Progress has happened. I’m mainly telling this to myself. Returning to places I’ve been before, like this coffee house near Mierendorffplatz, helps me put things into perspective. It feels like my self from November 2022 and my self from April 2023 are sitting side by side, clutching their warm cups and bringing each other up to date. It feels like we’re reflecting on last winter and we’re proud that we’ve made it through these dark months, one day at a time. In retrospect, it doesn’t seem that dark after all. 

We’re now ready to welcome spring. We’re ready for the sun to rise again on the eternally grey Berlin sky, please. 

How about YOU? What has your wintering felt like?